“I want you to play with me; take out your notebook and draw a line down the middle of the page. On the right side of the page, write what your mind is saying, and on the left side write what your Soul is saying.”
Retrieving my notebook, I draw a line down the middle of a page.
“Alright. What is your mind saying right now?” Mom prompts.
Writing quickly because the words are coming fast, I relay, “My mind hates you, and says that this is a bunch of lies!”
“Yes. Notice how threatened your mind is by what we are talking about. That is aspect memory, trained to keep you stuck. Now, listen to your Soul and write her words.”
Unlike mind, my Soul’s words are calm and unhurried. “I’m proud of you. You’re doing wonderfully. It takes courage to keep facing the truth. The words of your mind are intended to shut out fear, but it does the opposite by making fear grow. Can you trust me to lead you?”
Noticing that I feel good as I write these words, I read them aloud.
“Can you feel the difference in your Soul’s words? Which ones do you want to listen to?”
“I like the words of my Soul,” I genuinely answer.
“Good. Then will you practice writing down the words from both your mind and your Soul, so you can become more conscious?”
“Yes, I can do this!”
“Remember, Serena, we are the Oreo cookie. Nothing has changed. I’m proud of you. If you didn’t continue to grow, I would have stopped working with you long ago.”
Feeling inspired, I exclaim, “Thank you for this! I’ll write down the words from both my Soul and my mind, so that I can be more aware. I know this will help me!”
“It can, if you will let it,” Mom calmly states. “Then you will be able to make conscious choices that can help you.”
Smiling at me, Mom quickly adds, “I’ve been meaning to ask you if you know what Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is?”
“Doctor Barnes told me I had it, but he called it PTSD. He said that’s why I switched all the time. I used to hysterically scream when someone would come into a room, even though I knew they were coming. He said that my PTSD was the reason why I got triggered so easily.”
“Yes,” Mom replies. “Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is what happens when people have extended periods of trauma. They’re in a cycle of memory, stuck in a loop, where the slightest provocation causes them to be triggered. The work that we’ve done has allowed you to truly integrate, which is why Soul and I could trust that you could begin driving today. Your PTSD has truly been healed.” Raising her voice in sincerity, she asks, “Do you get what a miracle you are?”
Realizing how much I’ve changed, I reply, “Yes, Mom. I feel it. It’s not just words for me anymore.”